>>> ROBOT JOX IN ALASKA!
Behold this thing of beauty, tucked away in the woodsy goodness of Wasilla, Alaska. Constructed by Carlos Owens, Jr. (the brother of my cousin Amy’s partner Xio), this bad boy is actually a prototype of a series of fully functional combat exo-suits.
I repeat: fully functional combat exo-suits.
Here’s a photo of him and one of his earlier works (I don’t know when this was taken. The big metal guy now enjoys retirement in his parents’ backyard.)
>>> GO MACLARINERS!
Wow. A great time to be a Mariners fan. Kudos also to manager John MacLaren. His choices haven’t always been stellar, but given that he basically got the job about as unceremoniously as Gerald Ford did when Nixon resigned, he’s doing solid work with a crew that has his respect. Haven’t had this much to cheer about since ‘03. You remember, 2003, right? Gas was under $2.00 a gallon, Dubya was still only in his first term, the idea of a Simpsons movie was but a glimmer in Matt Groenig’s eye.If our improbable M’s (who have done an amazing job despite some bizarre circumstances -- I’m tossing a sidelong glance at you, Mike “Quitter-pants” Hargrove) can go 2 of 3 during their series versus the twins, and the Yanks do the same with the Angels, we’ll be a game up on the Halos and still ahead of the Bronx Bombers. Translation: making the post-season and winning the pennant, is I think, totally doable…
…Assuming we survive this last stretch of the season: A whopping 44 games in 45 days(!), a Herculean task brought to fruition by the need to play make-up games from snowed-out series at the start of the season. If we ultimately lose due to snow-out make-up game exhaustion (which one could argue is one of the side effects of global warming) then I’m voting for Al Gore in ‘08. Him, or anyone who hates the Yanks.
>>> STONED WITH A STONE!
My apologies for the eerie and somewhat unsettling kidney stone X-ray…but whatever. You’re all big kids. You’ll be okay. Plus, it was funny. To me. So there.I’m still in a Percocet fog until the first week of September (or when the damn thing decides to move to Canada or something). If y’all haven’t seen me get out as much, that’s pretty much why. I’m usually wiped out, in pain, or both. So, I’m keeping it low-key for a while.
>>> RANK A GOOMBA! (…I mean…ANAGRAM BOOK!)
When I’m not riding a wave of narcotic blissfulness, I’m assembling the final pieces of my long-in-production anagram book, which I plan to start shopping to agents in mid-September. Here’s a few samples for the curious:
Budweiser =
Beer + Us = DWI
The Summer and Winter Olympic Games =
Summary: Compete, win the medals, grin.
The Grateful Dead =
Ah…felt great, dude!
The Pythagorean Theorem =
“Three” math theory, on page.
American Idol =
A real dim icon
Political parties =
Topic: partial lies.
The Dow Jones Industrial Average =
An investor aide. We just hear “Gold!”
>>> TRIVIA COMIN‘ ATCHA!
And finally, to totally rip off the Tuesday night trivia guy Willie at Murphy’s in Wallingford: Below are sets of five celebrities. The five people within each set stared in a movie together. (So, two different movies.) Score 1 point for every person you correctly identify, and a bonus 10 points for naming the two films. Those who win receive a congratulatory message from me, along with some other smart-ass attempt at humor, probably in the form of a pun or something. Have at it!
1.__________________________
2.__________________________
3.__________________________
4.__________________________
5.__________________________
Film:_______________________
1.__________________________
2.__________________________
3.__________________________
4.__________________________
5.__________________________
Film:_______________________
