the blog of cory

Blog of the Stoned (Now with Photo-O-Vision!)

2007-08-20T19:48:00.000-07:00

Too long since I’ve blogged, so here goes.

>>> ROBOT JOX IN ALASKA!
Behold this thing of beauty, tucked away in the woodsy goodness of Wasilla, Alaska. Constructed by Carlos Owens, Jr. (the brother of my cousin Amy’s partner Xio), this bad boy is actually a prototype of a series of fully functional combat exo-suits.

I repeat: fully functional combat exo-suits.

Here’s a photo of him and one of his earlier works (I don’t know when this was taken. The big metal guy now enjoys retirement in his parents’ backyard.)

>>> GO MACLARINERS!
Wow. A great time to be a Mariners fan. Kudos also to manager John MacLaren. His choices haven’t always been stellar, but given that he basically got the job about as unceremoniously as Gerald Ford did when Nixon resigned, he’s doing solid work with a crew that has his respect. Haven’t had this much to cheer about since ‘03. You remember, 2003, right? Gas was under $2.00 a gallon, Dubya was still only in his first term, the idea of a Simpsons movie was but a glimmer in Matt Groenig’s eye.

If our improbable M’s (who have done an amazing job despite some bizarre circumstances -- I’m tossing a sidelong glance at you, Mike “Quitter-pants” Hargrove) can go 2 of 3 during their series versus the twins, and the Yanks do the same with the Angels, we’ll be a game up on the Halos and still ahead of the Bronx Bombers. Translation: making the post-season and winning the pennant, is I think, totally doable…

…Assuming we survive this last stretch of the season: A whopping 44 games in 45 days(!), a Herculean task brought to fruition by the need to play make-up games from snowed-out series at the start of the season. If we ultimately lose due to snow-out make-up game exhaustion (which one could argue is one of the side effects of global warming) then I’m voting for Al Gore in ‘08. Him, or anyone who hates the Yanks.

>>> STONED WITH A STONE!
My apologies for the eerie and somewhat unsettling kidney stone X-ray…but whatever. You’re all big kids. You’ll be okay. Plus, it was funny. To me. So there.

I’m still in a Percocet fog until the first week of September (or when the damn thing decides to move to Canada or something). If y’all haven’t seen me get out as much, that’s pretty much why. I’m usually wiped out, in pain, or both. So, I’m keeping it low-key for a while.

>>> RANK A GOOMBA! (…I mean…ANAGRAM BOOK!)
When I’m not riding a wave of narcotic blissfulness, I’m assembling the final pieces of my long-in-production anagram book, which I plan to start shopping to agents in mid-September. Here’s a few samples for the curious:

Budweiser =
Beer + Us = DWI

The Summer and Winter Olympic Games =
Summary: Compete, win the medals, grin.

The Grateful Dead =
Ah…felt great, dude!

The Pythagorean Theorem =
“Three” math theory, on page.

American Idol =
A real dim icon

Political parties =
Topic: partial lies.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average =
An investor aide. We just hear “Gold!”

>>> TRIVIA COMIN‘ ATCHA!
And finally, to totally rip off the Tuesday night trivia guy Willie at Murphy’s in Wallingford: Below are sets of five celebrities. The five people within each set stared in a movie together. (So, two different movies.) Score 1 point for every person you correctly identify, and a bonus 10 points for naming the two films. Those who win receive a congratulatory message from me, along with some other smart-ass attempt at humor, probably in the form of a pun or something. Have at it!

1.__________________________
2.__________________________
3.__________________________
4.__________________________
5.__________________________
Film:_______________________

1.__________________________
2.__________________________
3.__________________________
4.__________________________
5.__________________________
Film:_______________________

The Cast of LOST ... as Simpsons Characters!

2007-07-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

Using a promotional "Simpsonizer" website (if you Google it, you'll figure out what megacorp it's related to,) I took photos of the cast of LOST and tweak them into the figures above. (I used a little Photoshop here and there, but very very little.)

Something to tide us over until February!

Cory

Panic time for the M's?

2007-06-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

The grim specter of seasons past is creeping slowly over the Mariners.
Maybe it’s not panic time yet, but as a Mariners fan, it’s hard not to. This season has been a marked improvement over the last three or four dismal campaigns. Gone are the ineffectiveness of Cirillo and Spezio. Out is the unreliability of the once-reliable Aurilia and Guardado. (Those guys were by no means the sole reasons for the last few years of stinkers, but they were big contributors.)

This crew’s got chemistry, and Manager Mike Hargrove seems to finally be getting into the groove. At one point, we were only three in back of the Angels for first place in the American League West, and seven games over .500.

Then the 2nd game of the Cubs series happened. Lou’s crew had been doing horribly all year. The M’s were tough and up by a run. The bullpen was solid. It was getting into late innings. The heretofore sensational rookie reliever Brandon Morrow came in for what should have been some relatively undemanding pitching duty.

But he gave up the winning runs, and (so far), every inning and every game since then, the Mariners look nothing like they team they were before he came into that inning in that 2nd game. But, baseball is a game where fortunes can change and attitudes can shift on the turn of a dime. Put on those rally caps, folks, and pray hard.

Cory's MySpace Top 6 Blog

2007-06-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

DONT change your myspace top 6!- Fill the people in below!- Answer the questions truthfully!

1. --- Miriam

2. --- Grant

3. --- Bange

4. --- Ian

5. --- Mariah

6. --- Joe

QUESTIONS....
1. Have you ever danced with number 3?
Yep.

2. When did you meet number 6?
Hmm. 1999? 2000? Those sound about right. At the cast party for “Sisterly Feelings,” maybe.

3. Have you ever gotten drunk with number 4.
Yes. Memorable times include: Drunk Pictionary in college, and, though I only got buzzed, the night he…well, if you’ve heard the story, you know what I’m talking about. I’ll say no more.

4. Have you ever seen number 1 naked?
Repeatedly since August 2003. ;-)

5. Has number 2 ever seen you naked?
During a drunken skinnydipping party(?), summer ‘98. I don’t remember much, except the water felt mighty cold to me…

6. Have you ever gone shopping with 3?
On assorted occasions, usually for food or alcohol.

7. Have you ever seen 5 in a swimsuit?
In “Girl of My Dreams” at Village Theatre. (on the left.)

8. Have you ever met 1's family?
Yep.

And she’s might mine too…

Lord knows what her family thought of me when I met them…

9. Do you know 4's middle name?
Hugh (after his pa.)

10. Have you ever eaten anything in front of 6?
Yes. All manner of snack foods and other delicious fare.

11. Do you trust number 2?
I’ll say yes for my own good.

12. Who is 5 dating?
If you consider holy matrimony an extreme version of dating, then it’s this guy, aka #2:

13. Have you ever fought with number 1?
Why, yes. But we make up. (So which one is this?)

14. When was the last time you talked to 5 in person?
April 29, 2007, in NYC.

15. Are you and number 6 family?
Not that I am aware. Though he did speak at our wedding.

16. What makes you laugh the most about number 3?
His…clownosity? (Next!)

17. Have you ever done something dangerous with number 6?
The only thing that comes close is wearing beaded necklaces during Ian’s bachelor party in downtown Vancouver, prompting less-than-open-minded oafs in assorted bars to spy us with looks of intolerance.

Yeah. That’s a stretch. Oh well.
Go Canada!

18. Have you ever slept in the same bed with 4?
Not that I remember. But I’ve slept on the floor of his NYC apartment for five nights. (Yeah. Not the same).

19. Do you think 5 and 6 would make a good couple?
Hmm. They’re both already involved… You be the judge.

20. Would 3 do anything for you?
Oh, he’s done things to me. FOR me! For me. Uh…(cough)…next question.

21. Has 2 ever helped you out?
Yeah, he took care of some business for me. Nobody needs to know nothing’, you hear me?

22. Have you ever slept in the same bed with your number 1?
Repeatedly since August 2003. Who knows? You might even catch us getting out of bed. (Miriam, I love you.)

23. Which have you known the longest?
My #1.

24. Who have you known the shortest?
I’d say #6, but not by much.

25. Has anyone in your top 6 seen you cry?
Virtually everyone.

26. Are you dating anyone in your top 6?
If you consider holy matrimony an extreme form of dating, than #1.

27. Have you done anything illegal with number 1?
Nothing much, really…

28. Will 1 - 6 repost this?
I have my theories…

Repost this as: Have you ever __________ with your top 6?

Dystopia, Sandwiches, Pets...oh my! (reviews & news)

2007-06-17T15:59:00.000-07:00

DYSTOPIA! - Children of Men (mini-review)
Finally, finally, finally saw "Children of Men." First blush: A perfect 5 stars out of 5. The nitpicking I have with it is so inconsequential I won't both with specifics. It's just about a perfect film. Hard to watch at times, but at the same time hard to look away. At turns you're nauseous with dread and disgust, with its more violent acts seeming only more so given their eerie possibility. Other moments are transcendently poetic and uplifting. Alfonso Cuaron, working from the novel of the same name, creates an prescient vibe that makes you feel as if you're watching documentary footage from two decades hence. A message of hope pervades the sadness and the madness, as well as the final scene. Yes. 5 out of 5.

SANDWICHES! - She's the breadwinner, I'm the breadslicer
And my latest job is… kitchen guy at the Essential Baking Company's Wallingford café. For those who ain't knowin', I got a job working in the kitchen of the café where Miriam works (she's upstairs doing HR for the baking company peeps; I'm downstairs constructing sumptuous meals for hungry patrons). Seriously, try the Portabella Reuben. It's ta die for. Housekeeping had its perks (bizarrely enough), but the allure of health insurance sealed the deal. Hel-lo, co-pays!

FINALES! - Two shockers in less than a month. Yowsa.
This is also late, but the season 3 finale of LOST was nothing short of mindblowing, gutsy, and an object lesson in how to satisfy the fans and leave 'em wanting more. For my money, it was up there with "Who shot JR?" and Newhart's "the entire series was a dream" finale in terms of memorable-ness (unforget-ability?) Again, get the Season 1 and 2 DVDs on sale somewhere and watch 'em. (Season 3 comes out this September. Pre-order now, for the love of whatever.)

Speaking of finales… interesting (and persuasive) bit of Sopranos hypothesizing here: A former TV writer goes into great detail in his own blog about how not only did Tony Soprano get whacked after the series-ending blackout to end all blackouts, and not only does every bit of the scene have a clue pointing to whodunnit, but that there are also about a dozen allusions to a traditional Catholic funeral scattered throughout said scene. He might be onto something.

TALKING PETS! - Really, the only reason to watch AFV.
Finally, if you haven't already, do yourself a favor and check out these YouTube videos of talking dogs and talking cats.The coup de grace is the final cat -- you must, must, MUST wait for the final cat, a freaked-out little guy that sounds exactly like Bob from Twin Peaks. "Oh Long Johnson. Oh Don Piano. Why I eyes ya." These words will simultaneously haunt you and make you giggle privately to yourself till the end of your days.

Inaugural Blogspot Posting!

2007-06-17T14:47:00.000-07:00

I've pulled up stakes and made a new blog home here at Blogspot. All the kids are doing it, and it's cleanly unconnected from MySpace. Huzzah, and welcome!